(December 15, 2015 at 3:25 pm)Minimalist Wrote: After a tragic accident, a bus load of nuns die and find themselves queued up outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter. He arrives, and asks the first nun if she's ever touched a penis. The nun blushes furiously and admits that she did once, with the tip of her finger. "My child, dip the tip of your finger in this Holy Water and you may go through," says St Peter. The second nun admits to holding a penis once. "My child, dip your hand in the Holy Water and you may pass," he says. Then he hears a huge commotion at the back of the queue.
"Sister Mary, Sister Agnes, what is the fuss all about?" he demands...
Sister Mary stops short and turns to him and says, "Well, if I've got to gargle I want to do it before Sister Agnes sticks her butt in the water!"
I love it!
My favorite of that sort of joke is:
Sister Mary Jo goes into the Confessional and tells the priest: "Father, I saw Sister Mary Catherine buying condoms."
The priest scolds her, "You are here to confess your sins, Sister. Mary Catherine can confess when her time comes."
"Okay, Father," Mary Jo replied. "I have sinned. I poked holes in Sister Mary Catherine's condoms."
The priest passed out.
A Christian told me: if you were saved you cant lose your salvation. you're sealed with the Holy Ghost
I replied: Can I refuse? Because I find the entire concept of vicarious blood sacrifice atonement to be morally abhorrent, the concept of holding flawed creatures permanently accountable for social misbehaviors and thought crimes to be morally abhorrent, and the concept of calling something "free" when it comes with the strings of subjugation and obedience perhaps the most morally abhorrent of all... and that's without even going into the history of justifying genocide, slavery, rape, misogyny, religious intolerance, and suppression of free speech which has been attributed by your own scriptures to your deity. I want a refund. I would burn happily rather than serve the monster you profess to love.
I replied: Can I refuse? Because I find the entire concept of vicarious blood sacrifice atonement to be morally abhorrent, the concept of holding flawed creatures permanently accountable for social misbehaviors and thought crimes to be morally abhorrent, and the concept of calling something "free" when it comes with the strings of subjugation and obedience perhaps the most morally abhorrent of all... and that's without even going into the history of justifying genocide, slavery, rape, misogyny, religious intolerance, and suppression of free speech which has been attributed by your own scriptures to your deity. I want a refund. I would burn happily rather than serve the monster you profess to love.
