BAD TIMES
If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of “Badtimes”, delete it immediately without reading it.
This is the most dangerous e-mail virus yet.
It will rewrite your hard drive.
Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer.
It will recalibrate your refrigerator’s coolness settings so all your ice-cream will melt and all your milk will curdle
It will demagnetise the strips on all your credit cards, reprogramming your ATM access codes, screw up the tracking on your DVD player and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.
It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new mobile number.
It will mix anti freeze into your fish tank.
It will drink all your beer and leave its dirty socks on the coffee table when there’s company coming over.
It will hide your car keys when you are late for work and interface with your car radio so that you hear only static whilst stuck in traffic.
Badtimes will make you fall in love with a hardened criminal.
It will give you nightmares about circus midgets.
It will replace your shampoo with Nair™ and your Nair™ with Regaine™, all the while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their dates and rendezvous to your Visa™ Card.
Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease.
It will leave the toilet seat up and leave the hairdryer plugged in dangerously close proximity to a full bath tub.
It will remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, and refill your skim milk with whole.
It is insidious and subtle.
It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.
It is also a rather interesting shade of octerine.
These are just a few of the signs.
Be afraid....be very, very afraid.
Makes about as much fookin sense
If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of “Badtimes”, delete it immediately without reading it.
This is the most dangerous e-mail virus yet.
It will rewrite your hard drive.
Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer.
It will recalibrate your refrigerator’s coolness settings so all your ice-cream will melt and all your milk will curdle
It will demagnetise the strips on all your credit cards, reprogramming your ATM access codes, screw up the tracking on your DVD player and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.
It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new mobile number.
It will mix anti freeze into your fish tank.
It will drink all your beer and leave its dirty socks on the coffee table when there’s company coming over.
It will hide your car keys when you are late for work and interface with your car radio so that you hear only static whilst stuck in traffic.
Badtimes will make you fall in love with a hardened criminal.
It will give you nightmares about circus midgets.
It will replace your shampoo with Nair™ and your Nair™ with Regaine™, all the while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their dates and rendezvous to your Visa™ Card.
Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease.
It will leave the toilet seat up and leave the hairdryer plugged in dangerously close proximity to a full bath tub.
It will remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, and refill your skim milk with whole.
It is insidious and subtle.
It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.
It is also a rather interesting shade of octerine.
These are just a few of the signs.
Be afraid....be very, very afraid.
Makes about as much fookin sense
"The Universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements: energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest." G'Kar-B5
