Welcome to the forum, Matthew.
Is there a different way you can phrase this? Then we might understand you better, because it's a bit nebulous and confusing as a reason for believing in God.
Matthew Wrote:the repeated experiences of trying and failing to avoid the conclusion I did not want to arrive at certainly gave me the impression that I was not simply wrestling with my own thoughts but with something outside of myself.
Is there a different way you can phrase this? Then we might understand you better, because it's a bit nebulous and confusing as a reason for believing in God.