How to be an Atheist?

[Homeless Nutter]

All you have to do to be an Atheist is wear a Fedora and be edgy kewl and butthurt about Christianity and  Redneck farmers tbh.

I see that it bothers you, that we atheists are - as you rightly say - cool (the way you kids spell words these days is so adorable, by the way). It's obvious you envy us, that we do not fear the invisible wizard in the sky. In fact - you seem pretty butt-hurt about it. 

Don't worry - if you study hard in school, instead of sucking d*ck in church - one day you may become an atheist yourself. You may not be able to afford the fedora, but if you nicely ask another atheist - he/she may give you his/her old one. And then maybe you won't seem like such a retard and maybe someone will let you play with their genitals... Good luck.