Indoctrination and how it has severly effected me.

[Socratic Meth Head]

I've had doubts from time to time too. I was even convinced to go back to church once. I think what really broke it for me is that god presumably only wanted me to come willingly, and since I can't willingly worship someone who would do the kind of things done in the bible, i might as well not worry about it. if he wants me, he knows where to find me. Presumably he also knows what I need to see and hear to convince me, and if I don't get it, then he's just not putting in enough effort to convince me.

Its far worse than what you seem to have picked up. Its not just a thought or two. It is all consuming. Mentally torturing. I can never decide. My mom forces me to go to church which makes me only have these thoughts more. I believe evolution though, i see it everywhere around me. But the way my parents have raised me has only set me up for this. I want to escape from god. But their trap of doubt=satan kills me