Welcome.
I'm not sure how old you are but it is apparent that you are still under your parents influence. That makes it tough. You mentioned OCD. You don't have to answer but if you could I'm curious what kind of therapy you are receiving. Medication? Talk/Psycho therapy? CBT/REMT? ............................ Are you talking to your therapists about your dilemma? Telling them that religion is a trigger for the OCD (which it appears to be)?
My first step away from the brain washing was to convince my parents that I was not going to attend church. I told them that I was not getting anything out of it and it made me feel uncomfortable. In typical parent fashion, they yelled and threatened and made me go the next Sunday. About 15 min. into the service I said I had to pee and got up and left. Didn't return. Was able to walk home as we were only a few miles away. When they got home, again in typical parent fashion, they yelled and threatened and said that I was going next Sunday. Sunday came, after a few minutes I got up and left again. They got the hint. The fact that they did not want to be embarrassed in front of the whole congregation helped. Could not have a seen in front of the movers and shakers in our small town. After that, I stuck to my guns and my parents and I agreed that they could believe what the wanted, I could believe what I wanted. It was an uneasy truce for many years.
This may not work for you. I don't know what lengths your parents will go to in keeping the fantasy alive. If they force you to attend, and you can't walk out, you could start smaller. Stop the chanting, stop singing, basically stop participating in the service. Don't stand every time they all stand. Don't open the books. Don't speak to others.
These are only suggestions, ones that may not work for you. You'll have to find your own way to deal with your situation. I wish you the best.
I'm not sure how old you are but it is apparent that you are still under your parents influence. That makes it tough. You mentioned OCD. You don't have to answer but if you could I'm curious what kind of therapy you are receiving. Medication? Talk/Psycho therapy? CBT/REMT? ............................ Are you talking to your therapists about your dilemma? Telling them that religion is a trigger for the OCD (which it appears to be)?
My first step away from the brain washing was to convince my parents that I was not going to attend church. I told them that I was not getting anything out of it and it made me feel uncomfortable. In typical parent fashion, they yelled and threatened and made me go the next Sunday. About 15 min. into the service I said I had to pee and got up and left. Didn't return. Was able to walk home as we were only a few miles away. When they got home, again in typical parent fashion, they yelled and threatened and said that I was going next Sunday. Sunday came, after a few minutes I got up and left again. They got the hint. The fact that they did not want to be embarrassed in front of the whole congregation helped. Could not have a seen in front of the movers and shakers in our small town. After that, I stuck to my guns and my parents and I agreed that they could believe what the wanted, I could believe what I wanted. It was an uneasy truce for many years.
This may not work for you. I don't know what lengths your parents will go to in keeping the fantasy alive. If they force you to attend, and you can't walk out, you could start smaller. Stop the chanting, stop singing, basically stop participating in the service. Don't stand every time they all stand. Don't open the books. Don't speak to others.
These are only suggestions, ones that may not work for you. You'll have to find your own way to deal with your situation. I wish you the best.
Being told you're delusional does not necessarily mean you're mental.
