Still struggling.

[robvalue]

Me too!

I've committed murder and rape exactly as many times as I've wanted to. Which is zero.

By the way, there are two subsections of atheism (you won't hear this from many religious people who always put all atheists in one category):

There is default "weak" atheism, which means you're not convinced there is a god, but you're not convinced there isn't, either. It's being undecided, like someone on a jury who hasn't found the evidence compelling either way.

Then there is "strong" atheism, which is the additional positive belief that there are no gods. It's not a statement of knowledge, it's not claiming certainty.

I'm a strong atheist with regard to all the charicature gods, Yahweh, Allah, Jesus, Vishnu, whatever. They are all very clearly fictional humanoid constructs. I don't claim to know for certain they don't exist, just to allow for some sort of bizarre cosmic coincidence, but I feel the likelihood is so close to zero as to make little odds. And since they aren't properly defined, and are contradictory in nature, it wouldn't even be clear if it was that character even if you found it.

I'm a weak atheist with regard to some sort of non-specific creator. People may call this a "God" but I find the term loaded and useless. For example, could this be an artificial reality and we have become self aware? Yes, that's entirely plausible and consistent. Do I believe it's actually true? No. Do I believe it's not true? Again, no. I'm not convinced either way, I withhold judgement until such time as there's any actual evidence to consider.

I'm pointing out that being a (weak) atheist isn't about certainty, or even belief there are no gods. It's just about saying, "I don't yet believe there is a god". Most of the time, the justification is simply that there is no evidence; and any reasonable person would reconsider their position if new evidence emerged.

But even if there is a god, that doesn't mean it's anything to do with the childish temper tantrum throwing complete idiots in the ancient books. It's far, far more likely that it is entirely indifferent to us, if it's even noticed us at all.