What's the lamest defence of Theism you've ever heard?

[God of Mr. Hanky]

My personal favorite for amusement purposes is Wendy Wright screeching out to Dawkins "Were you THERE?!!" I don't think I've ever seen such a hysterically stupid person before, and I have met a lot of very stupid religious people!

Oh, and we also had a perfect troll who claimed to be a top biology student, while insisting that every life form shows "perfect design" - yeah, how could I not see how obvious that is?

It's not perfect (it literally couldn't be) but the design is pretty apparent when you look at how the cell works.

Your god is supposed to be perfect. It works like this: either your god is perfect, and a dithering dick for creating imperfect life, or he doesn't exist at all. Actually, there is only one option, because life clearly isn't perfect and there is no evidence of any design. This makes a perfect god impossible, even if there was any sort of initial designer. You cannot make anything imperfect and still be perfect yourself, and neither can your god. It is you, the theists who claim that your god cannot do evil, and doesn't make mistakes, so get consistent with your claims if you're going to make them and stop making excuses which blame said god's imperfect creatures for all the shit which he allowed to happen. Why, by the way does shit exist when life is supposedly so fucking perfect? Why in fallacious fuck do you exist, loser who you are to come around where you know you don't belong, knowing that you will achieve nothing but to annoy those who you have willfully decided to disagree with, all the time pounding your chest and sniggering? Oh, right, that's just what any perfect prince of a perfect god would always do! Why then did even your apostle Paul show the good sense to take off and never come back when they made it clear they just weren't interested in what he had to sell?

The world in which we live is in no way perfect at all, ∴ your god fucked up stupendously, if he created any life here at all. There is no legitimate blame on anybody for "sin" because a perfect god should have known better than to allow what he did - he could not and would not have decided on allowing "free will", such a decision would in itself be a weakness. More obvious problems which your creationist mental gymnastics bends around and sidesteps: there can't be anything which your god's said creation can do which would ever annoy a perfect god, because goddammit, he's perfect - well, that's what he's said to be! ∴ your god doesn't exist, and you are just an asshole who wants to wield god-like power over other people - on that, no thank you and feel free to go fuck yourself into the next dimension and out of sight.