What's the lamest defence of Theism you've ever heard?

[God of Mr. Hanky]

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Well of course it's just hopelessly speculative, because without any data it just isn't possible!  Well at least the speculations of actual scientists don't write their own biased laws of physics and chemistry. The sum of all the statements which you have made here imply only one thing clearly, which is that you love nothing more than not knowing. If you had a good answer, that us one with a good and thorough explanation, then this would render your mysterious God useless, and you really, really don't want to do that, do you? Admit it, you're frightened of us!

Oh, Lawd, please save us from that big, bad evil-lootionist! Oh....why won't he just leave us alone and let us go back to being the humble and ignorant barbarians which we were the first time you led us to sack and burn the cities of the scientists?

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I'm not the one running from science. I bring in scientific phenomena every response, while you just put words in my mouth and act as though you are so high and mighty, yet you have said nothing to demonstrate that you've graduated from high school. And your speculations go against what we see with how these molecules are formed, so that's why I don't like them. I never said I had a thorough explanation for how it happened, just that your explanation is wrong.

No. You. Don't! You don't bring in any science at all, you bring in obstructionist ignorance only, and that is all you ever do with science. You will never be any true scientist as long as you maintain your prejudice in favor of ideas which science cannot explain. The very thought of science explaining away your precious deity frightens you so badly that you are more willing to infiltrate and destroy science, for all of the benefits which it has brought society, than to allow it to squeeze any thinner the beliefs which you need othersnto agree with you on. You are therefore the most scurrilously dishonest, intellectually toxic and pathetic little coward ever to walk the the face of this planet!

By the way, please stop quoting everything - I'm really sick of having to put hide tags around, or try and cut away your no longer relavent shit while on my mobile!