I was born in Dec. 1975 to my mother and biological father, who suffered a stroke (causing hemiplegia and cognitive damage) in 1982, and died in 1990. I remember him to be a loving fellow, and devoted father. I also remember that I was not brought up with the notion of Santa, but he was a mall santa (and law student).
Between his stroke and his death (which was from MRSA), my mother had to take care of me (I am disabled, with spina bifida) and often him. I think it was a pretty full plate for my mother, who is a very emotional person. I think this all affected her parenting a bit, which at times was spot on, but at times either lacking or overkill.
My mother remarried in 1991. My stepfather soon after adopted me (so I refer to him as my father, as opposed to my late biological father). He has been a very good husband and a devoted father. We don't always get along, but his heart (and mine) are in the right place. If I were to be a father, I would hope to emulate him a fair amount.
However, my relationship with my mother has deteriorated. They are both still very much in my life (a bit too much, at times). I have gotten to really see some things in my mother that are lacking, and we get into little arguments over that. As well, she tend to keep things in until there is a hot mess of issues to bring up about me, so my trust in her has kind of dwindled. Her heart is very much in the right place, but she wants things to be happy all the time, and ironically gets upset when they aren't, which is a fair amount. And she takes care of others way more than herself. And her massive amount of friends probably expect that of her, as well, which makes things worse.
She is immensely popular with everybody she meets. But, we do have quite a bit of tension between us.
Between his stroke and his death (which was from MRSA), my mother had to take care of me (I am disabled, with spina bifida) and often him. I think it was a pretty full plate for my mother, who is a very emotional person. I think this all affected her parenting a bit, which at times was spot on, but at times either lacking or overkill.
My mother remarried in 1991. My stepfather soon after adopted me (so I refer to him as my father, as opposed to my late biological father). He has been a very good husband and a devoted father. We don't always get along, but his heart (and mine) are in the right place. If I were to be a father, I would hope to emulate him a fair amount.
However, my relationship with my mother has deteriorated. They are both still very much in my life (a bit too much, at times). I have gotten to really see some things in my mother that are lacking, and we get into little arguments over that. As well, she tend to keep things in until there is a hot mess of issues to bring up about me, so my trust in her has kind of dwindled. Her heart is very much in the right place, but she wants things to be happy all the time, and ironically gets upset when they aren't, which is a fair amount. And she takes care of others way more than herself. And her massive amount of friends probably expect that of her, as well, which makes things worse.
She is immensely popular with everybody she meets. But, we do have quite a bit of tension between us.
"For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." - Carl Sagan
