Both parents were children born during the depression years. Explains some of our family's money/materialism hoarding.
Mom: 3rd child and youngest of German immigrants (I think in the 1920's). Grew up very poor and physically abused. Not much love expressed in her family which carried on through out her life. Teacher, first college grad in the family, put herself through school, very driven to succeed, expected the same in her children. In my childhood she was stern but fair. However, when pissed off, our house became a deep freeze for 2 to 3 days. She had this passive aggressive way of pushing people including me. Example: First chair in band, she would say that's good but why didn't you have a solo in the concert? Analyst told me that's why I have a tendency to self destruct when things get going a little too good. Diagnosed with stag 4 multiple myeloma at age 63, they gave her 2 years with out without treatment. She choose treatment, was extremely miserable and in constant pain and died in 2 years. Watching her die that way took it's tool on all of the family but mainly on Dad. I am my mothers son.
Dad: Oldest child German grandparent immigrants (his parents both German). Grew up middle class for the time. His father died at age 45 leaving him to take over the family construction business and care for his mother. Hard drinker but not sure he was alcoholic. He had the ability to turn it off when he needed to. Usually a happy drunk that liked to get philosophical and solve the problems of the world. In the army between WWII and Korea. Very successful construction business and we had an upper middle class life. Dad was the one to show affection. After Mom's death he hooked up with a woman he had met and dated in high school. They had a good life together as long as the kids (my sister and I) kept our distance. NBD, we were grown. Dad dies of prostate CA. Lived 13 years after diagnosed. When it came back it came back with a vengeance. After see what Mom went through he refused chemo and just dwindled away, peacefully.
Religion: Evangelical Lutheran. Not very religious, they went to church more to be seen with the other movers and shakers of the town. Let me walk away at age 13 (with a little prodding).
Mom: 3rd child and youngest of German immigrants (I think in the 1920's). Grew up very poor and physically abused. Not much love expressed in her family which carried on through out her life. Teacher, first college grad in the family, put herself through school, very driven to succeed, expected the same in her children. In my childhood she was stern but fair. However, when pissed off, our house became a deep freeze for 2 to 3 days. She had this passive aggressive way of pushing people including me. Example: First chair in band, she would say that's good but why didn't you have a solo in the concert? Analyst told me that's why I have a tendency to self destruct when things get going a little too good. Diagnosed with stag 4 multiple myeloma at age 63, they gave her 2 years with out without treatment. She choose treatment, was extremely miserable and in constant pain and died in 2 years. Watching her die that way took it's tool on all of the family but mainly on Dad. I am my mothers son.
Dad: Oldest child German grandparent immigrants (his parents both German). Grew up middle class for the time. His father died at age 45 leaving him to take over the family construction business and care for his mother. Hard drinker but not sure he was alcoholic. He had the ability to turn it off when he needed to. Usually a happy drunk that liked to get philosophical and solve the problems of the world. In the army between WWII and Korea. Very successful construction business and we had an upper middle class life. Dad was the one to show affection. After Mom's death he hooked up with a woman he had met and dated in high school. They had a good life together as long as the kids (my sister and I) kept our distance. NBD, we were grown. Dad dies of prostate CA. Lived 13 years after diagnosed. When it came back it came back with a vengeance. After see what Mom went through he refused chemo and just dwindled away, peacefully.
Religion: Evangelical Lutheran. Not very religious, they went to church more to be seen with the other movers and shakers of the town. Let me walk away at age 13 (with a little prodding).
Being told you're delusional does not necessarily mean you're mental.
