There is no "I" in "You"

[Whateverist]

You tell me as that's precisely the goal of the koan. Give quiet contemplation a chance. 

-and again, you make me doubt that you spent your time learning buddhism wisely...since you didn't learn it at all.  A koan is a prelude to magic.  The goal of a koan is not to provide a standard measure, a means by which claims can be considered when/if reason fails...it's meant to persuade the audience that reason is inadequate.  No amount of quiet contemplation is going to lead me to anything which I didn;t already know.  I need interaction, I need input, I need standards of consideration.  

Then it seems we're at an impasse. You cling to external answers, a blatant irrational desire to be spoon-fed the mysteries of life in one convenient dose. (Not far removed from the Christian desire of clinging to their all-encompassing Bible.)

I don't know what else to tell you other than to keep banging your head on every wall....eventually you'll yield to the wall instead of expecting the wall to yield to your desirous whims.

And in that he differs so much from yourself. You stand there patiently and humbly looking to attach the most generous interpretation possible to what everyone has said to you.  Oh wait a minute.  That wasn't you.  You're the one who assumes you know what everyone means before they say much at all.  Dick.