RE: To circumcise or not to circumcise?
June 11, 2016 at 2:21 am
(This post was last modified: June 11, 2016 at 2:23 am by Thumpalumpacus.)
(June 11, 2016 at 2:12 am)Maelstrom Wrote:(June 11, 2016 at 2:10 am)Thumpalumpacus Wrote: I don't post my excerpts here, normally, but here, here's an excerpt from my WiP:
See, that's the difference between you and me.
I wouldn't have read past the first line, and I didn't, of your writing due to the fact that it was a cliche.
As a writer, I have evolved past cliches.
Yes, I suppose so ... you've moved into stilted, unbelievable dialogue and cardboard characters. Good job!
PS: Perhaps had you read past the first line, you'd understand why I selected a cliche for the opening. It has to do with character perspective.
There's your tip for the day.