Applying the Ontological Argument to Real Life
*Walks into a bank*
"Hi, I'd like to withdraw one million dollars, please."
"Sir, do you even have an account at this bank?"
"Well, is it possible I might have an account at this bank?"
"I suppose, but I don't find you in our sys..."
"In an infinite number of universes, is it possible I have an account at this bank?"
"What?"
"I'm asking about possibilities."
"Well, I suppose but..."
"And is it possible my account would have one million dollars in it?"
"Well, I guess but..."
"And wouldn't an account with one million dollars be a great thing?"
"It would be but..."
"In fact, wouldn't you say that an account with one million dollars would be a greater thing than not having an account at all?"
"I would say so but..."
"And great things by definition exist, right?"
"Well, yes but..."
"So you admit that an account with one million dollars is a great thing?"
"But sir, you don't have..."
"You just admitted it when you said 'I would say so'. Did you not say that an account with one million dollars is a great thing?"
"Well, yes but..."
"So you admit that my account at this bank with one million dollars in it exists."
"Uh, wait, WHAT?"
"So I'd like my million dollars, please."
"Sir, you don't have an account at this bank!"
"Oh, fabulous! So now you're saying you believe in great things that don't even exist. You are confused!"
"SECURITY!"
"Ow! Religious persecution! Religious persecution!"
*Gets thrown out of bank*
*Walks into a bank*
"Hi, I'd like to withdraw one million dollars, please."
"Sir, do you even have an account at this bank?"
"Well, is it possible I might have an account at this bank?"
"I suppose, but I don't find you in our sys..."
"In an infinite number of universes, is it possible I have an account at this bank?"
"What?"
"I'm asking about possibilities."
"Well, I suppose but..."
"And is it possible my account would have one million dollars in it?"
"Well, I guess but..."
"And wouldn't an account with one million dollars be a great thing?"
"It would be but..."
"In fact, wouldn't you say that an account with one million dollars would be a greater thing than not having an account at all?"
"I would say so but..."
"And great things by definition exist, right?"
"Well, yes but..."
"So you admit that an account with one million dollars is a great thing?"
"But sir, you don't have..."
"You just admitted it when you said 'I would say so'. Did you not say that an account with one million dollars is a great thing?"
"Well, yes but..."
"So you admit that my account at this bank with one million dollars in it exists."
"Uh, wait, WHAT?"
"So I'd like my million dollars, please."
"Sir, you don't have an account at this bank!"
"Oh, fabulous! So now you're saying you believe in great things that don't even exist. You are confused!"
"SECURITY!"
"Ow! Religious persecution! Religious persecution!"
*Gets thrown out of bank*
"You don't need facts when you got Jesus." -Pastor Deacon Fred, Landover Baptist Church
™: True Christian is a Trademark of the Landover Baptist Church. I have no affiliation with this fine group of True Christians ™ because I can't afford their tithing requirements but would like to be. Maybe someday the Lord will bless me with enough riches that I am able to.
And for the lovers of Poe, here's your winking smiley:
™: True Christian is a Trademark of the Landover Baptist Church. I have no affiliation with this fine group of True Christians ™ because I can't afford their tithing requirements but would like to be. Maybe someday the Lord will bless me with enough riches that I am able to.
And for the lovers of Poe, here's your winking smiley:
