Can I just say, and I'm just being honest...

[Losty]

I wanted to tell you what you've always meant to me. I wanted to show you, not the girl you wanted me to be, but the woman I've become. I would have held on to the good memories no matter how few and far between. I would have let go of all the reasons I had to hate you. I wanted you so bad. You were so completely and pathetically oblivious, not only to what you had in me but also to just how much your actions affected me. I still have so many things left to say. So many words that get mulled over in my mind again and again. I still want you in my life. I still wish you would have wanted us in yours enough to sway your choices. The war in my head over this is a brutal one. No matter the outcome of the battles, I'm the loser every time. There are no answers. You were the first to teach me that lesson.