Amoral Inaction

[thesummerqueen]

Any time dear, though I don't know I can offer much.

Mostly I'm just interested in learning the details that separate different philosophies. I try doing it with Christians too, which sometimes gets hairy.

Believe it or not, a few years ago I actually wondered why I couldn't be a "normal atheist". This phase lasted about two weeks where I seriously wondered what was "wrong with me". The skeptical side (agnostic side) of my brain is well aware that I can't prove the existence of God to anyone else's satisfaction. I'm not even sure what might constitute solid evidence for the claim. And yet I can't honestly adopt the label "atheist" because I'm so instinctively convinced. Ever seen the end of the movie "Contact"?

I went through the opposite all up till about 2 years ago when I met my current boyfriend and a guy he went to college with. I spent from about the time of my bat mitzvah till then wondering why I couldn't be a "normal Jew." Someone made the unfortunate mistake of exposing me to Spinoza when I was around 13-14 and that made it worse. At 10 I had already figured if there was a god, he wasn't listening in on the world. I started giving people a definition of belief that pretty much belonged to pantheism all up until those two guys were like "relax...you're an atheist. You're not weird, and you're not a bad person." I just can't bring myself to believe in a god.