(July 22, 2016 at 11:08 pm)bennyboy Wrote: Nobody yet has talked about this, but I think we should consider that some of the "humane" punishments used by liberals can be as damaging, potentially, as spanking.
The silent treatment is one I got a lot as a kid. Man, THAT was pain, and I would have traded it for a belt in a heartbeat. But I don't think I actually learned anything from it (I was just 5 and couldn't really understand why I was being ignored). Mostly, I remember feeling unloved and outcast, and I think it made me generally insecure. I don't recall at any point, EVER, thinking "I wish I hadn't _____, and I have to remember not to ____ next time."
But the worst thing my parents did was degrade me: (at about age 14) "Benjamin, you know I love you because I HAVE to, I'm your mother. But I really don't like you very much as a person. Sometimes I wish I never had you." And I could see that she was watching me carefully, to see if she could make me cry, something a developing young man should never be made to do, in my opinion. A thousand lashes with a belt won't damage a kid as much as a single sentence uttered in spite, or ANY behavior that is done maliciously rather than out of a desire to help the child develop properly.
Well, I've had every possible kind of abuse except the sexual kind(AFAIK), times 11 in some cases, and I'm pretty fucked up, and yet I know who I am, I value who I am, so I don't regret anything that's happened to me while at the same time, I resent much of it. Again, I'm insanely fucked up, but the one thing I hate the most is thinking about what might've been different. Nothing is more depressing than that. So I say, fuck that, just look forward and get over it.
(That last one wasn't directed at you, just explaining my philosophy - I guess).
