Religion and Spanking

[Vincent]

Nobody yet has talked about this, but I think we should consider that some of the "humane" punishments used by liberals can be as damaging, potentially, as spanking.

The silent treatment is one I got a lot as a kid.  Man, THAT was pain, and I would have traded it for a belt in a heartbeat.  But I don't think I actually learned anything from it (I was just 5 and couldn't really understand why I was being ignored).  Mostly, I remember feeling unloved and outcast, and I think it made me generally insecure.  I don't recall at any point, EVER, thinking "I wish I hadn't _____, and I have to remember not to ____ next time."

But the worst thing my parents did was degrade me:  (at about age 14) "Benjamin, you know I love you because I HAVE to, I'm your mother.  But I really don't like you very much as a person.  Sometimes I wish I never had you."  And I could see that she was watching me carefully, to see if she could make me cry, something a developing young man should never be made to do, in my opinion.  A thousand lashes with a belt won't damage a kid as much as a single sentence uttered in spite, or ANY behavior that is done maliciously rather than out of a desire to help the child develop properly.

This is NOT a liberal approach. 

My stepmother used such tactics on me as a child, and 9/10 times it felt worse than any smack in the face or any spanking she ever gave me. She made sure I felt that I wasn't her TRUE kid. She made sure I felt that I wasn't good enough. She made sure I felt that it was my fault when she yelled at my father for not "disciplining" my sister and I. 

I can't really explain in words exactly what she did.... but it ninja-fucked my brain growing up. I consider myself a decent kid. I got good grades, perfect attendance, never got detention, never did drugs, never sneaked out, never drank alcohol, never got in fights, never engaged in risky behavior. But still, and especially in my teens, I spent most of my time being yelled at and reminded of what a piece of shit I was, and then grounded without any contact with the outside world. I remember being grounded for two and a half months for not flossing my teeth. I remember being backed into the corner of my room and threatened because I wasn't wearing my retainer. She held up her hand to strike me but never did. She just left it suspended in air, watching me quiver in fear, watching me flinch away as I braced for an impact that would never come. I remember then being forced to write 3000 sentences saying "I will wear my retainer"... I brought that shit to school and skipped lunch to finish. I remember her telling me all these things... about how I was stupid, ungrateful, a bitch.... I remember her bringing us to Disneyland and yelling that I was wasting her money when I wanted to go back to the hotel early because I was sick with a fever. And when she was really mad, she would ignore my existence, and that made me long for the sting of her hand. 

I remember the effect that kind of system had on me. I became depressed in high school, borderline suicidal, and I used self-harm as a coping method. I remember lying every day to my friends when they asked what happened. 

She was conservative to the bone. I didn't get hit all the time but she made sure I knew I deserved to be. And that system of punishment is not a system of punishment. It is a system of torment.