Religion and Spanking

[bennyboy]

This is NOT a liberal approach. 

Yeah, I kind of went off on a tangent. I meant to talk about grounding and "time outs" and things like that, and also how children left too unsupervised can ALSO feel neglected: "Why do they NEVER show anger, no matter what I do? They don't really seem even to care how I turn out!"

My stepmother used such tactics on me as a child, and 9/10 times it felt worse than any smack in the face or any spanking she ever gave me. She made sure I felt that I wasn't her TRUE kid. She made sure I felt that I wasn't good enough. She made sure I felt that it was my fault when she yelled at my father for not "disciplining" my sister and I.

Parents seem not to understand that kids have memories. My mother's treatment of me isn't really turning out very well for her. She's alone now, and gets little pity (and fewer visists) from me.

I can't really explain in words exactly what she did.... but it ninja-fucked my brain growing up. I consider myself a decent kid. I got good grades, perfect attendance, never got detention, never did drugs, never sneaked out, never drank alcohol, never got in fights, never engaged in risky behavior. But still, and especially in my teens, I spent most of my time being yelled at and reminded of what a piece of shit I was, and then grounded without any contact with the outside world. I remember being grounded for two and a half months for not flossing my teeth. I remember being backed into the corner of my room and threatened because I wasn't wearing my retainer. She held up her hand to strike me but never did. She just left it suspended in air, watching me quiver in fear, watching me flinch away as I braced for an impact that would never come. I remember then being forced to write 3000 sentences saying "I will wear my retainer"... I brought that shit to school and skipped lunch to finish. I remember her telling me all these things... about how I was stupid, ungrateful, a bitch.... I remember her bringing us to Disneyland and yelling that I was wasting her money when I wanted to go back to the hotel early because I was sick with a fever. And when she was really mad, she would ignore my existence, and that made me long for the sting of her hand. 

Yep. Psychological torture as a way for covering her insecurities about being a replacement, I guess. How petty and mean she was. It wasn't you, though-- because it couldn't have been. No matter what you did, you didn't deserve that.