This is unexpected.

[Zenith]

I just realized I'm a satanist, as defined by religioustolerance.com.

I always assumed satanists sacrifice goats and self-mutilate, but this is entirely wrong outside of certain radical groups. Most satanists worship the idea of satanic philosophies, which really aren't very bad if you research mainstream Satanism. Most satanists therefore don't even believe in satan or god, but believe that the seven deadly sins are actually good, and worship human power and the human experience. Satanists are entirely separate from Satan and don't worship him, to reiterate, but they take pride and wonder in humanity and its various biological desires and abilities without a god.

Did you read the Satanic Bible? (which does express the beliefs you have stated) If yes, then how do you agree with this:

The use of a human sacrifice in a Satanic ritual does not imply that the sacrifice is
slaughtered “to appease the gods.” Symbolically, the victim is destroyed through the working of a hex or curse, which in turn leads to the physical, mental or emotional destruction of the “sacrifice” in ways and means not attributable to the magician.
The only time a Satanist would perform a human sacrifice would be if it were to serve a twofold purpose; that being to release the magician’s wrath in the throwing of a curse, and more important, to dispose of a totally obnoxious and deserving individual.
Under NO circumstances would a Satanist sacrifice any animal or baby! For centuries, propagandists of the right‐hand path have been prattling over the supposed sacrifices of small children and voluptuous maidens at the hands of diabolists.
...
The question arises, “Who, then, would be considered a fit and proper human sacrifice, and how is one qualified to pass judgment on such a person?” The answer is brutally simple. Anyone who has unjustly wronged you—one who has “gone out of his way” to hurt you—to deliberately cause trouble and hardship for you or those dear to you. In short, a person asking to be cursed by their very actions.
When a person, by his reprehensible behavior, practically cries out to be destroyed, it is truly your moral obligation to indulge them their wish. The person who takes every opportunity to “pick on” others is often mistakenly called “sadistic.” In reality, this person is a misdirected masochist who is working towards his own destruction. The reason a person viciously strikes out against you is because they are afraid of you or what you represent, or are resentful of your happiness. They are weak, insecure, and on extremely shaky ground when you throw your curse, and they make ideal human sacrifices.
It is sometimes easy to overlook the actual wrongdoing of the victim of your curse, when one considers how “unhappy” a person he really is. It is not so easy, though, to retrace the damaging footsteps of your antagonist and make right those practical situations he or she has made wrong.
The “ideal sacrifice” may be emotionally insecure, but nonetheless can, in the machinations of his insecurity, cause severe damage to your tranquility or sound reputation. “Mental illness,” “nervous breakdown,” “maladjustment,” “anxiety neuroses,”
“broken homes,” “sibling rivalry,” etc., etc., ad infinitum have too long been convenient excuses for vicious and irresponsible actions. Anyone who says “we must try to understand” those who make life miserable for those undeserving of misery is aiding and abetting a social cancer! The apologists for these rabid humans deserve any clobberings they get at the hands of their charges!
Mad dogs are destroyed, and they need help far more than the human who conveniently made froths at the mouth when irrational behavior is in order! It is easy to say, “So what!—these people are insecure, so they can’t hurt me.” But the fact remains—given the opportunity they would destroy you!
Therefore, you have every right to (symbolically) destroy them, and if your curse provokes their actual annihilation, rejoice that you have been instrumental in ridding the world of a pest! If your success or happiness disturbs a person—you owe him nothing! He is made to be trampled under foot! IF PEOPLE HAD TO TAKE THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR OWN ACTIONS, THEY WOULD THINK TWICE!

?

Also, it seems that the satanists like to manipulate the masses:

When all religious faith in lies has waned, it is because man has become closer to himself and farther from “God”; closer to the “Devil.” If this is what the devil represents, and a man lives his life in the devil’s fane, with the sinews of Satan moving in his flesh, then he either escapes from the cacklings and carpings of the righteous, or stands proudly in his secret places of the earth and manipulates the folly‐ridden masses through his own Satanic might, until that day when he may come forth in splendor proclaiming “I AM A SATANIST! BOW DOWN, FOR I AM THE HIGHEST EMBODIMENT OF HUMAN LIFE!”

Most of the hatred of Christianity comes from its persecution of Satanists throughout the centuries. Of course, part of my dislike for that particular religion is simply for its widespread stupidity.

The Satanism was invented as a hatred and rebellion towards Christianity. If not, then why the hell would have they called themselves "satanists" and called their beloved "Satan"? By the way, The belief in Satan as a symbol or a force is a modern thing. That's quite the difference between the traditional Satanism (which believes in Satan as a person) and modern Satanism (such as the Church of Satan, which believes in Satan as a symbol or force).

Anyway, the funny part about satanists is that they demonize Christianity and Christians and show pagans and paganism as some kind of holy martyrs! It seems to be as the greatest "sin" to realize that none was better than other! (i.e. Christianity did not prove itself to be better than paganism, but neither paganism did prove itself to be better than christianity - they all have their crimes, stupidity, etc. (I'm speaking about them in general, not particular persons))

They also have the best symbol ever, consisting of a goat head inside a pentagram. So, in general, I'm a Satanist as of today. This was unexpected, but I'm glad I Googled it.

I don't understand why that symbol is so beautiful. I personally don't think it is. It's rather foolish. Especially that it writes on it Leviathan, which is symbolically Satan - when most surely it was originally a creature of water that is now extinct.

By the way, in another meaning, you could not be a satanist unless you practice some sorcery or something (incantations, ritual cursing, etc.).