A Song for Creationists.

[Rev. Rye]

I just recently came upon this song that came from a skit on SNL, and its spectacular ignorance with regards to science instantly made me think of creationists:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lq65hlbxd...re=related

Simply put: I have no idea how nature works, so I'll just say it's all magic.

If you really want to know, here are the lyrics:
Ass Dan: Ha-ha! There’s so many confusing things out there!

Thrilla Killa Klown: Well get your magnifying glasses out, ninjas! We’re going to take a closer look at life!!

Both: [singing]
“The world is full of magical mysteries,
Puzzles unsolved since ancient history.”

Ass Dan: [singing]
“Where does sand leave at night?”

Thrilla Killa Klown: [singing]
“Did people used to really live in black and white?
Is the world round or is it flat?
How come no one can tell me that?”

Ass Dan: [singing]
“What’s with islands?
Get more land!!”

Thrilla Killa Klown: [singing]
“What’s with deserts?
Get less sand!!
What is Alaska?
Who is Brazil?
Isn’t a volcano just an angry hill?”

Ass Dan: [singing]
“How did God even think of dirt?
Erasable pens make my head hurt!”

Both: [singing]
“Metal, girls, iron, fire!
How’d they get my voice in a telephone wire!?”

Ass Dan: [singing]
“Why are pants different than shirts?”

Thrilla Killa Klown: [singing]
“Blankets!? How do they work?”

Chorus (V/O): “The world is full of mysteries…”

Ass Dan: Yo! How do suitcases always know where to meet you? Huh?

Chorus (V/O): “So many magical mysteries…”

Thrilla Killa Klown: Are kids small? Or just far away?”

Chorus (V/O): “So many magical mysteries…”

Ass Dan: Why do some mountains look like Presidents?

Thrilla Killa Klown: What the fuck is a clock?

Ass Dan: Now’s here’s a list of some stuff - -

Thrilla Killa Klown: [singing]
“Trees, swans, capes, a horse…”

Ass Dan: [singing]
“Triangles, witches…”

Thrilla Killa Klown: [singing]
“A different horse!”

Ass Dan: [singing]
“The world has 10,000 people…”

Thrilla Killa Klown: [singing]
“And Santa Claus created all of us equal…”

Thrilla Killa Klown: [singing]
“Ass Dan’s kids look just like Ass Dan!”

Thrilla Killa Klown: [singing]
“And my two kids just look like Ass Dan!”

Ass Dan: [singing]
“So with every note, let it bounce off your brain!!”

Thrilla Killa Klown: [singing]
“The mysteries of life can’t be explained!”

Ass Dan: [singing]
“So fuck you books!
We don’t need your tricks!”

Thrilla Killa Klown: [singing]
“And all you scientists
Can suck on this!”