(September 29, 2016 at 3:16 am). Wrote: For example, when another person is voicing his or her disagreement or position in an unconstructive manner, it is imperative to allow him or her to vent and to speak uninterrupted: as this person speaks, we then separate the person from the problem (this is hard to do, but it is truly awesome once you get the hang of it), which allows us to focus on the content of the message and possibly uncover the individual's underlying interests; thus, clarifying miscommunications and validating why a reasonable, decent person would behave in that manner. Hence, this technique is useful in the following ways: it diffuses intense emotions and builds safety; it enables the parties to understand their conflict in different ways; it validates and humanizes the other person.
I've learnt over the last year that when in uncertain emotional situations, it's often best to be passive but still alert. It doesn't always solve the problem, because sometimes (as in my case) they are unbridgeable -- but even the it mitigates hurt by lending understanding.
Listening is always good -- you either find common ground, or identify a person who doesn't want to do that much.
