This thread is simple. Post your favorite quotes/jokes by comedians. Maybe we will all find some good comedians we had not heard of until this thread.
Here are a few of my favorites.
"I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them." ~ George Carlin
"It's a fucking pocket pussy that is shaped like a flashlight "for discretionary jacking off." That way if you get caught,
no one thinks it's weird. You're just a guy who likes to fuck his flashlight." ~ Seth Rogen in Zack and Miri Make a Porno
"Those aren't assholes. It's pronounced azaleas." ~ Steve Martin in The Man With Two Brains
Here are a few of my favorites.
"I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them." ~ George Carlin
"It's a fucking pocket pussy that is shaped like a flashlight "for discretionary jacking off." That way if you get caught,
no one thinks it's weird. You're just a guy who likes to fuck his flashlight." ~ Seth Rogen in Zack and Miri Make a Porno
"Those aren't assholes. It's pronounced azaleas." ~ Steve Martin in The Man With Two Brains
