The Right Question

[Thumpalumpacus]

Why is god watching me masturbate?

Why is he concerned with what I do naked?

If god exists, is he physical? If so, he lacks free will, how does that work out?

If he's metaphysical how does he interact with the physical, and why can't we sense its effects?

If the universe is causal and 100% predictable, then the metaphysical god's effect on the physical is completely predictable. How does that work out?

If the universe is too complex to just exist, why doesn't that apply to the most complex being ever i.e god?

If we humans really are perfect, does that mean god cannot design us better, doesn't that mean he isn't all powerful.

If god can create a rock so heavy he can't lift, he's not all powerful. If god can't create a rock so heavy he can't lift, he's not all powerful.

I'd say God is watching you masturbate for the same reason I watch men masturbate on Tumblr.

Just a few days ago there was a GIF of a man, thoroughly trussed up, gagged and bound and he was 'convulsing'.  Took me a bit to figure out why I was supposed to find this tableau erotic, and then I noticed he had electrodes on his penis. And then I realized since he was all tied up, someone else was at the controls of his electro-stim device.

So, we can conclude, God is fascinated with what we are going to come up with next.


Just like your vorlon.

So -- someone needs to turn this pic into a .gif of God wanking?



Maybe replace the popcorn bowl with a bottle of Jergen's, or something?