(October 23, 2016 at 11:48 pm)vorlon13 Wrote: As for telling people, the grudge thing is of concern only to those in the crosshairs, and they tend to figure it out soon enough.]
Precisely.
(October 23, 2016 at 11:48 pm)vorlon13 Wrote: I don't see the point in advertising the trait, but maybe I should?
I'm with you on saving it for those in the cross hairs. No need to go through that for weekend fling. But once you're at the point where they seem like crosshairs material why work it out later? I mean, that's potentially a lot of unpleasantness and disappointment that could have been headed off. If it's a deal breaker, break it before anyone has to move furniture.
(October 23, 2016 at 11:48 pm)vorlon13 Wrote: As for the stubbornness, had some advice at 12 Steppers that went along the lines of stubbornness by itself is neither positive or negative, it falls to how we employ it. Frankly, it can be self-destructive. My lack of acceptance over the AIDS crisis was a tough row to hoe. (12 Steppers is big on acceptance, I've had an intense struggle with it, sufficient I rarely interact with newcomers out of concern for fucking up their recoveries. Some times on some subjects, I just dig in on, and I'm not going to be deflected.
So if it's a trait you want to change anyway, fine get them to help you if they can. But if your failure to do so is going to lead to bitchiness leading to furniture moving .. meh, nip it in the bud. Life's too short.
