(November 6, 2016 at 7:13 am)Crossless1 Wrote:(November 5, 2016 at 3:21 pm)Thena323 Wrote: A fried pork chop lure, laced with antidepressants and a mild sedative works well with the menfolk...so I've heard.
Yep, that's how I was captured and wed. In retrospect, it was suspicious how that pork chop just happened to be sitting there, attached to the string that was connected to the large net suspended from the tree. If I ever escape from this zoo, I'll know better next time.
For the free range men out there, stay away from incongruous pork chops! But if you are captured, don't believe the reports you hear about how they cut off your balls after the ceremony. It's not literally true. But it is the most painful of metaphorical truths. Yes, the pain lessens with time, given enough food, beer, and television. But you'll find you will still be haunted in your dreams and during mini-skirt weather.
Oh, and one other very, very, very important piece of advice -- something you must never forget if you are to survive this ordeal. Under no circumstances . . .
Shit! The wife is coming! Act natural.
<starts manically whistling a jaunty tune as he resumes washing the dishes>
Is she gone yet? Can you finish telling us the rest?
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
