Can I just say, and I'm just being honest...

[Shell B]

K, buddy. Like you a ton, but I can't possible read/reply to that much when we're going in circles. I'm going to reply to one key point and then move on. You mentioned, again, not that mindfulness is bad because it is about paying attention to negative thoughts. Again, it is not that at all. You are not doing mindfulness when you do that. I don't know how many times I have stressed that already. You have a fundamental misunderstanding of the practice, and you will never get anywhere with it until you acknowledge that. I'm sorry. I wish it could help you, but it's not going to until you stop thinking it is analyzing negative thoughts.