drug rehab state sponsored forced acceptance of god

[Faith No More]

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long story short i have had a problem with opiates for about 10 years, and am currently very poor.

decided to get some help and get on state sponsored suboxone, for those who do not know it is basically another opiate that also
blocks the effects of opiates and allows the user to live a somewhat normal life.. catch is the medication is very expensive, around 12-15$ per tablet, and at two tablet a day that is almost as expensive as a heroin habit.

after months of going through the system i ended up at a local health department, and got government issued insurance for my state for those with low income to cover the medication, the state also offers a doctor who will script the med, the catch: you have to attend "meetings" at the state health department once a week for two hours.

in my condition i accepted right away, i did not have much of a choice. upon going to the first meeting i am surprised to see posters on the wall talking about God etc.

basically they are doing the AA 12 steps, the first day they talked about the first two steps. next meeting they have alluded that we are going to the third step i think which is acceptance of a "higher power" aka God.

i find it very immoral the way that AA and NA works, in that they try to recruit people into the christian cult when they are at their lowest. they speak as though I cannot move on from drugs without accepting that their is a god. they tell me i have a disease and I must give myself into god in order to get past it.

i think personally that accepting i have no control over myself is a dangerous thing... and i feel that self control is my best route for staying on this program and not going back to trying to get "high" and breaking the law.

i do find it odd that this is happening at a state sponsored place, and oddly enough a bunch of my "classmates" have been court ordered here, some even simply for being caught with marijuana.

i have never been convicted of any drug crimes, and i always placed rules on my usage, but sadly with opiates the physical dependence part is a real bitch.. and i have tried the "cold turkey" method with little to no success, and feel that suboxone is my best chance here, otherwise trust me i would not be subjecting myself to this, but also i do not want to be "thrown" out of a class and lose my medication. many of my friends have taken the advice of NA people and tried to quit "cold turkey" eventually they snap, and a few have gone back to their "old dosage" and died from overdose. i blame these people telling my friends that god will heal them for their deaths. a simply pill could of saved my friends lives but these groups see taking any medication like the one named as not being "upfront w/ god".
ironically at the first meeting when i was honest i had some people with DUI's telling me how i should stop taking the medication and just go to church with them, that is all i would need. the arrogance astounds me.

so do i just fake it and say what they want to hear? do i say what i really feel? do i write a letter complaining about the religious nature of this program in a government building?

advice.

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Maybe I can give some insight here because I was on suboxone for two years to quit my opiate addiction. I never would have been able to quit without it and I think faking belief in God would be a small price to pay to get it for cheap. Suboxone is very helpful for quitting because it keeps you from turning to other opiates. It also gives you control over your addiction and allows you to eventually slowly wean yourself off where as you would never be able to wean yourself off of a street habit.

Pretending to believe in God for this medication may seem like you're selling your integrity, but you know it's bullshit and pretending is what you have to do. Suboxone is a very powerful tool in fighting addiction and if you have to fake being a follower of God, do it. No one will hold it against you.

Like Moros said you can vent here, or if you have any further questions or want to speak privately send me a PM.