The Oppression Olympics

[Kosh]

So I still don't have a good answer for how we can decide who is the most oppressed.  I'm a physicist, and I like to be quantitative about things.  Can we quantify oppression?  Can we come up with an oppression score to decide who wins?  Here is a possible way to allocate points:

White: 0
Male: 0
Straight: 0
Christian: 0
Disability: 1
Jew: 1
Female: 2
Muslim: 3
Gay: 4
Hispanic: 5
Transgender: 6
Black: 7

Let the games begin!

Gay White Jewish Male vs. Straight Black Christian Female

4+0+1+0 = 5              vs.  0+7+0+2 = 9

The straight black Christian female is definitely more oppressed.

Transgender Muslim Male vs.  Autistic Hispanic Female

6+3+0 = 9                      vs.  1+5+2 = 8

Ooooo, the transgender Muslim male wins by a hair.  

But now we have a tie between the transgender Muslim male and the straight black Christian female.  So we need another metric.  Since skill, talent, and accomplishment aren't admissible criteria in the Oppression Olympics, so we need to use a superficial quality that the person can't control, like height.  Shorter people are more oppressed than taller people.  The black Christian female is 5'10", and the transgender Muslim male is 5'9", so the the winner of the Oppression Olympics is the transgender Muslim male!

I realize that it may be offensive to talk about it this way, but seriously, people keep fighting over who is the most oppressed, and I think that a way to quantify oppression would help answer the question.

If your a physicist..  and this is the kind of shit you sit around and ponder..

Science is truly fucking dead.