I'm also going to pay someone to ring up family and friends spoofing my mobile number, and either leave a chilling silence or sob uncontrollably.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'