Mindfulness - help?

[Longhorn]

First of all - thank you all so much for your input and responses. I do appreciate it very much. I knew I could count on this place to provide good feedback. I was getting a bit lost with different sources. I'll check out what you all recommended, so thank you again

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I've dabbled with meditation and there is evidence that, long term, it can have some positive benefits. However it's also a hard road strewn with land mines of people saying it does this or that, or that the right way is such and thus. It becomes very easy to fall into a trap of practicing what you believe meditation to be, when, it might not be that. I could give my own advice, but that would be falling into the same trap. Ultimately, because the field of mindfulness / meditation is filled with so much bullshit, you're basically, ultimately, on your own for determining what it is and what it means to you. The only advice I'd give is not to vary your practice, as that can be a distraction, like servicing an itch you feel while engaged in mindfulness. Pick something and stick with it. I would also recommend picking something simple and relatively easy to do. Counting breaths is a good one. Otherwise you might get lost in worrying whether you're doing it right or not. The point is to do it, and persevere even when you get discouraged. Mindfulness and meditation are habits that take practice to be useful.

I know more about meditation and pain mitigation. The only thing i know as doctor taught mindfulness is to look at details of things in your immediate location and describe them, say to yourself a descriptor of these objects. Like "I see my lamp, my lamp is green." And just keep doing that. Avoid any other thoughts.
While your brain is doing that, it's not focused on anything else if youre doing it right.
It helps if you're in the throes of anxiety.

This is essentially how I practice mindfullness. If I'm feeling distressed, I remove my mind from the distress through object meditation and breathing. I find it useful to touch an object, so I use my DnD dice. I describe how they look and feel to myself.
If I'm out of the house, anything can work. A pen, a slip of paper, your steering wheel (please be parked if you use that one!).

As Jör says, there is a lot of BS out there, and it's ultimately a personal thing. Try different things until you find the technique that seems to click for you, then go for it.

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These I've found particularly helpful.

I've tried body scans and being aware of the body, thinking about breath and counting breaths. These work to a varying degree but mostly I can't seem to concentrate for longer than a few seconds on them. I have however noticed that I naturally tend to direct my attention to my immediate surroundings - thinking things like 'I am here. The grass is green, the sky is blue' and such, describing my situation. This works best for my focus, does the job and fits my intention, so I think I'll stick to that instead of trying to make other things work, so thank you, ladies, for helping me stop worrying over if I'm doing it right

A lot of what is described as meditation or mindfulness appears to be more about avoidance rather than awareness. 

While I realize this was not intended towards me, or anyone in particular and that you might be right - I don't know, I'm only interested in this practice for the purposes of my personal recovery - I wanted to take this opportunity to explain better why I'm doing this. The reason I got interested in it was one of my sources mentioning it being used in therapy for people in my situation and I do see how it is helpful.

As you said, I have faced what I needed to face. The problem is that oftentimes, my mind will remind me of it again and again, every day, in the least preferable circumstances. What I need mindfulness for is grounding myself in the present moment, precisely so I can face the past better. Instead of getting lost in it, I can remind myself where I'm standing whenever it rears its ugly head again, so I can look it in the eye without fear. That's what this is for, to me.

Thank you guys again. Cake for everyone

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I've been on anxiety meds for nearly 20 years, and mindfulness combined with yoga and radical acceptance is the first non medication treatment that's ever worked for me. I'm down to fragments of my pills, and my taper will be complete and I'll be med free within a month!

Also, congratulations Aroura! I'm glad to hear it