Mindfulness - help?

[Thumpalumpacus]

To me, mindfulness is not about resistance. It's about stepping away from my feelings so that I can address them more objectively. Note that that means I'm not avoiding my feelings, just making sure I have them in perspective before making any decisions based upon them.

I use a couple of different tools for getting there.

Mindfulness has been a powerful tool in my struggle with alcoholism, precisely because it is about addressing my feelings rather than anaesthetizing them.

Say it's anger... does that mean you co-exist with it as you explore it... even while in the throes of the emotion? Cos that's always seemed like a contradiction in terms to me... that the deeper you are in such a state... such as anger where it's characterised by tunnel vision and bias... the less mindful of it you can be... ie the less objectively aware you can be of it.

That's always confused me about mindfulness... just that once you get lost in a train of thought or whatever that is almost by definition the opposite of being objectively aware of it. So I see mindfulness only operating in objective mode as it were... seeing the beginnings or ends of thoughts, but not the during (unless you snap out of it mid-train and thus become objectively aware). Do you see it differently?

I have a couple of exercises I use when I feel myself falling into an overly emotional state that I don't want to experience.

Sometimes I'll imagine the emotion as a transient object -- a log floating downstream, a jet flying high overhead -- and it gets closer and then recedes. This reminds me that, knowing it is transient, I also know that it will recede so long as I don't impede the process.

Sometimes I make a "date" with the problem: "I'm a bit worked up/busy/whatever to deal with this now, so I'll think about this at 8:30pm tonight." And by the time that rolls around, the emotion has passed through me.

Sometimes, when I'm upset about something that is beyond my control, I remind myself of that fact and simply work to reduce my emotional investment if possible.

It's not that I don't allow myself to experience the feelings. I just don't allow myself to make decisions in a state of emotional disturbance. And for me, these techniques most often accelerate that process of detachment by reminding me that emotions too have limits, and I'm best staying away from those limits.