Christianity and Suicide

[Succubus]

As I said, I'm all in. Unforgivable sin and all, I've flipped off my share of god. Actually I should be asking you why you even have a phone or laptop to toss about on. When I was a Christian if I could give or do I did. That includes more than just being a self righteous protagonist online. I gave my time, my heart, my love, my everything. Even to poverty although that is a side effect of being impoverished oneself. Still I gave. And to this day I can't say I have much left tO give. I meet deaths door as a matter of habit, being on numerous chemo meds for the last 15 years of my life, losing body parts and relationships and belongings to the point of nothing, due to my illness. Sad but true I live in my mom's living room in a bed that is or isn't my deathbed, who knows? Do yOu have legs? Do YOU have fingers and toes capable of putting on some shoes and doing something constructive with your time?? I do my best every day to pass on love in any way I'm able. You seem to use your time to be a judgemental pRick online and unsolicited. For fun. Go fuck yourself with your bullshit. If I die (which could be any week of my life), then so be it. And if by some leap and bound I meet up with the god portrayed in the Bible and not the tens of thousands of other religions? It's too late for me, I DID commit the unforgivable sin. I haVe given up everything. If I'm to die a second death in hell, then so fucking be it. Unlike you I READ the words of your god. And they were not good. And I know exactly what I'm saying having lived my life by that god every day of my life since infant hood. I know what you love. I know what you feel. And I'm compelled to ask, why are you okay with your beloved brethren being sent to hell eternal (the fiery brimstone one described by the bible) for reasons unbecoming of the punishment? In the end, hell is every Christians undoing. Either you're a monster for believing in it or you're condemned. Why is hell called for, for a child committing suicide because she can't fathom her father fucking her, telling her shes an awful subhuman, beating her up as he does.. just one more time??? Jesus platitudes and hell seem meaningless at that point, especially that those who live in and were born to hell on earth.

I have no words. You moved me to tears, that was painful yet beautiful. Thank you for sharing that, I probably wouldn't have the strength if that was my situation.

The testimony of just this one beautiful person is worth more than all the billions of words uttered by the faithful. I was deeply moved. Luckie, your name should be writ large.