The need to believe?

[mordant]

I wish most people would choose to communicate like you - some have in the thread (thank you), but there's always those who think they're smarter/better/stronger/more mature because they never got hung up on spirituality. From the sounds of it, I'm not alone, even among atheists, who have conflicts from time to time. Maybe not the identical conflicts, but conflicts nonetheless. Thanks for your respect to the topic...and to me.  And I am basking , it's good to finally make sense of all of this, and to deal with it. I've done a lot of rug sweeping and that really didn't get me anywhere.

Nope -- you're not alone and you'r not an idiot or a weakling. You're just figuring it out as you go, like all of us.

Many atheists who aren't deconverts can't relate to this ... I've heard many frankly admit it. It's understandable. But they don't have to disrespect deconverts either. In fact, I have often referred to my journey our of faith as prying ideas out of my head with a crowbar, over many years. It's hard work. It should be respected.

Now, after a couple of decades, my former beliefs seem just as silly to me, but I try not to forget where I came from, or the price I paid for the journey.