Is this homophobic?

[Astonished]

What if you think, or hope, that it's something you can change? What if you've heard from every direction your whole life that that's the right thing to do because to feel or do otherwise is filthy or wicked or worse? If that's the message being hammered into your head, it's sometimes going to take root like with other types of indoctrination. I'm not saying my friend in particular ever had that level of dissonance in his mind, in fact I'm fairly sure he never believed any of that for a minute, but that's not the case with a lot of gay people, so I wouldn't make that kind of generalization. Yes, there's no way for anyone involved in a situation like that not to hurt or suffer in some way, and no one should be made to want that, but that doesn't mean it's all bad. My friend helped his wife to raise her boys (his stepsons, not his actual biological children, so he wasn't one of the sort you mention) where she would have otherwise had nobody to help and little financial support. His heart was in the right place. He's also an older guy (almost twice my age and I'm in my early thirties) so I assume the stigma against that sort of thing was far more severe back in the day, which probably helped motivate him to keep it to himself in spite of the consequences. If he'd grown up around the same era as me I don't think he would have made the same choice but that's just how times change.

So maybe it's not comparable to having a gun held to their head if they dare come out, but that kind of mental abuse can make someone feel like there is one. In the worst cases they're made to feel like they are their own worst enemy while simultaneously thinking that everyone else is also their worst enemy (and mortal enemies at that). They're not taught that it's perfectly fine to do that in order to hurt others, it's out of fear and desperation and false hope. Not like the religions that teach people it's perfectly fine to cast scorn and shame and violence against someone for their fucking nature.

As a bisexual you think I don't know? Oh god no, people are calling you evil, and telling you to pick a side? News flash the world isn't nice us non heteros in or out of the closet. But at least I'm honest.

Certainly didn't come across that way, at all. More like a sympathizer to the other side. Or someone with battered spouse mentality. Just being honest, that's the vibe I got.