(August 31, 2017 at 10:39 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote:(August 31, 2017 at 9:21 pm)Thumpalumpacus Wrote: The way I'm reading it, making simple physical attraction the basis for desire and advances is what is at issue.
Asking a gal out because she's pretty is like buying a house because you like the way the yard looks. If you ask a gal out only because she's pretty and has a tight body, yeah, you're objectifying. And starting off with that sort of compliment runs the risk of setting that train of thought in motion, rightly or wrongly.
I wasn't talking about asking a stranger out right off the bat just because she's pretty. I'm talking about the first step - just going up to them or trying to start conversation of some sort. Wanting to know them better *because* of that initial physical attraction to see if there is more there. I really don't see why this is at all controversial. Maybe telling her "you're pretty" right off the bat is a bit strange, but I don't think that's objectifying someone, personally. But yeah, I guess there could be girls out there who would take offense to it or take it the wrong way, so better to hold off on that anyway.
We all get that physical attraction is part of overall attraction. It's part of my approach-decision as well. But making your first comment about someone a comment on their physical appearance does say something about how you see them, whether you like that or not.
I never ask a woman out the first time I meet her, ever, and it doesn't matter what she looks like. That's just me. Some guys do that, and I've picked up their tabs at 2:30 a.m. while they're trying to figure out who Ms Next is going to be.
Here's a question: what if you were blind? How would you decide at that point who might interest you as a potential lover?
