My gift for the high and sleepless
October 9, 2017 at 6:28 am
(This post was last modified: October 9, 2017 at 6:34 am by ErGingerbreadMandude.)
# If a pregnant woman goes swimming,
does that make her a human submarine?
# What is silent in the word scent,
the s or c?
# Do all dogs bark the same language?
# If you expect the unexpected,
doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
# If gym equipment was invisible,
gyms would look like silent raves.
# Do bald people use shampoo or soap?
# Why is W called double U,
shouldn't it be called double V?
# Why don't Jedis turn off their opponents light sabers
by force pressing the button?
# Thanks to the popularity of gifs
we are living in the golden age of silent films.
# "Queue" is just "Q" followed by 4 silent letters.
# Bullets and fireworks are the only things that do their job only after they are fired.
# The brain named itself
# Why do noses run and feet smell?
# Once you read the dictionary
every other book you read is just a remix.
# If you're a security guard at Samsung
does that make you guardians of the galaxies?
# Apple has "air", Amazon has "fire", Google has "earth", why doesn't Microsoft have "water"?
# Why is Greenland covered in ice while Iceland is covered in green?
# Today is the oldest you've ever been
and the youngest you'll ever be.
# Dora calls herself an explorer,
but travels exclusively through mapped territories.
# Two people can never go to each others funeral.
# If you drop a bar of soap
is the soap dirty or is the floor clean?
# What if oxygen is killing you?
It just takes 75 - 100 years to fully work?
# Why are buildings called buildings if they've already been built?
does that make her a human submarine?
# What is silent in the word scent,
the s or c?
# Do all dogs bark the same language?
# If you expect the unexpected,
doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
# If gym equipment was invisible,
gyms would look like silent raves.
# Do bald people use shampoo or soap?
# Why is W called double U,
shouldn't it be called double V?
# Why don't Jedis turn off their opponents light sabers
by force pressing the button?
# Thanks to the popularity of gifs
we are living in the golden age of silent films.
# "Queue" is just "Q" followed by 4 silent letters.
# Bullets and fireworks are the only things that do their job only after they are fired.
# The brain named itself
# Why do noses run and feet smell?
# Once you read the dictionary
every other book you read is just a remix.
# If you're a security guard at Samsung
does that make you guardians of the galaxies?
# Apple has "air", Amazon has "fire", Google has "earth", why doesn't Microsoft have "water"?
# Why is Greenland covered in ice while Iceland is covered in green?
# Today is the oldest you've ever been
and the youngest you'll ever be.
# Dora calls herself an explorer,
but travels exclusively through mapped territories.
# Two people can never go to each others funeral.
# If you drop a bar of soap
is the soap dirty or is the floor clean?
# What if oxygen is killing you?
It just takes 75 - 100 years to fully work?
# Why are buildings called buildings if they've already been built?
