Sounds like your "force" may have been a hallucination created by a very strong subconscious need for acceptance amongst your peers.
Hallucinations don't always have to be auditory / visual.
Hallucinations don't always have to be auditory / visual.
"How is it that a lame man does not annoy us while a lame mind does? Because a lame man recognizes that we are walking straight, while a lame mind says that it is we who are limping." - Pascal