Phrases and idioms that trigger you.

[Pat Mustard]

For me, it would be anything that involves woo - like "everything happens for a reason" or "karma is gonna get you".

Oh I have one of them. The one that triggers me (slightly) is when something turns out well for me and the response is something like "You see? Sometimes all you have to do is ask the universe!". It's not only retarded to think that the universe tried to help me out, but it's also retarded to assume that anything I did was me asking the universe. It's like no matter how much I can distance myself from the wooy bullshit some Neopagan moron can convince themselves that I asked the universe for a favor. Even saying that God helped me out seems more honest than pretending I asked for the universe. At least a theist can pretend that God helped me out out of kindness despite my disbelief in him, but to pretend that I fucking asked the universe for ANYTHING is so fucked up. It would be the equivalent of a theist telling me that many things I had said were in fact prayers to God despite my atheism. It's the equivalent to the phew theists who actually believe that atheism is impossible and EVERYONE believes in God, and atheists are in denial about their belief (there are theists who actually believe in this.What the fuck do they think new born babies think there's some SkyDaddy up there? But I digress).

Fuck "ask the universe" fuck it in the ass with a very appropriate ass-fucking device. Shit there's gotta be a word for those things. It's on the tip of my tongue. Begins with D.

Not a fan of Noel Edmonds then, I take it.