Incoming Missile

[Haipule]

At about 8 AM there was a collective HOLY SHIT! About twenty minutes later someone on twitter announced it to be false. Turns out that they screwed up a test and sent the alert as certainty: observed incoming BALLISTIC MISSILE to Hawaii! 

Can you imagine the mayhem for that thirty minutes? People running off the beach. Imagine what it was like at the airport or schools, businesses, traffic--SHIT, FUCK, PISS! We're all dead!

Now there is a collective totally pissed off! Heads are going to roll!

Well except for you xtians, right?  I thought a lot of you were eager for Armageddon and to receive your judgement day goodies. You aren't one of those?

I was out on my lanai having a ciggy and a cup of coffee when my wife said sternly, "GET IN HERE!" I thought I was in trouble again! She then showed me the phone. HOLY SHIT!

I thought it was odd. I am God's favorite FOR SURE! So I went on the internet and there was no news. Plus there was no tsunami sirens. So, from the start it seemed rather fishy.

I mean, I was in Florida for 8yrs and no hurricanes. 10 months after I left...

They said we had about 10 minutes! I thought about what I should do. The answer was 'nothing'. Although I did want another ciggy before I died as eternity is a long time