Flaws

[J a c k]

I let things build up, not saying anything, but then boom! One day I have had enough and I become the devil.

I might be too friendly with alcohol. She seems to always be around.

I hate folding laundry.

you forgot to add you are also criminally attractive  

Psssssh that’s fucken sweet, in its own angry face way  

I did forget another one! When someone gives me a compliment, it usually goes something like this:
Me: (walks in all cool, king of the world)
Person: Damn, Ivy, you look great today!
Me: (locks eyes with a carrot on the table) Look! A carrot! Shit. Did I tell you about death? We’re all dying. Trump’s face is a butt. Carrot! My elbow hurts. Wanna touch it? Are elbows sexual? Carrot! (Nose gets runny, suddenly needs to pee)