I would be the God Of Reasonable Public Behaviour. Naturally, I wouldn't require anyone to be a paragon of moral virtue, merely that they refrain from being boors in the public square.
Abominations: Talking in the cinema, failing to hold a door/elevator for the person behind you, littering, complaining at the top of your stupid fucking voice because you asked for no dairy on your salad plate and managed to spot a speck of parmesan that wouldn't keep a mouse alive for a day, under-tipping, blocking my car in with your car because you're 'Just going to be a minute, honestly', and so on.
Boru
Abominations: Talking in the cinema, failing to hold a door/elevator for the person behind you, littering, complaining at the top of your stupid fucking voice because you asked for no dairy on your salad plate and managed to spot a speck of parmesan that wouldn't keep a mouse alive for a day, under-tipping, blocking my car in with your car because you're 'Just going to be a minute, honestly', and so on.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax