Things that change us

[WinterHold]

I was thinking when I was taking a shower earlier tonight, about all of the people, events and things that have changed me in the past five years. My grandmother (my dad's mom) died about three years ago, and I never thought I'd stop crying. I felt like the mourning process would last forever, and that every thought would be tainted with pain and sorrow. But, then one day, I stopped crying, and felt joy when thinking of her. And then there were ex boyfriends who treated me badly, and I never thought I'd recover, or stop going back to them. I had to really look at why I kept attracting assholes, and why I thought so little of myself, that I kept dating players. Toxic friends as well, online and offline, who I let steal my happiness, I also thought I'd never get past. But, I did. Time doesn't heal all wounds, it's what you do with the time, that does that. I've bumped into an ex bf a time or two since getting married last year, and they are still the same lost, pathetic souls they always were, but me? I've grown.

I'm better and stronger. 

I never thought I'd let myself be vulnerable enough after all that pain to love again, but I did. And I got married last year to an amazing guy. Maybe we have to go through a lot of bad stuff to get to a better place. 

Can you relate? What things have changed you?

It was the moment of my diagnosis with M.S . The change was immense; 180 degrees.
My movement became very limited, and I got drenched in the worst depression cycle. So I knew that my previous lifestyle can no longer be maintained.

It was a moment I saw all my dreams fade. But new ones now came with respect to what I have; hey I got more into reading.
I just changed. I'm not the same person anymore. Good, bad? IDK.

Irritable? sometimes.
Depressed? yes.
Apathetic? indeed.

But I look to the world in a total different look now.

So.. yep