(May 1, 2018 at 5:35 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:(May 1, 2018 at 3:10 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Try driving in NZ.
Between terrible Kiwi drivers and tourists who, frankly, shouldn't be allowed to drive in the country, driving long distance in NZ can be like a game of Russian roulette.
For those without the experience, here are some NZ driving tips:
1. Cross streets: If you get there first, you HAVE the right of way. 'Give Way' signs are for pussies.
2. Backing: Back slowly and smoothly, check your mirrors frequently. Continue backing until you hear glass shattering, metal bending, or a jogger shrieking. Then back up another two feet.
3. Speed Limits: Most areas in NZ will limit your speed to either 100kph or 50kph. Ignore these limits vigorously.
4. Pedestrians: If you should hit a pedestrian with your car, call 111 immediately. The helpful people at emergency services will offer valuable tips on cleaning the gore off of your vehicle.
5. Impaired Driving: Operating a motor vehicle while under the influence of drugs or alcohol is strictly prohibited unless you have enough to share with the cop who pulled you over.
Following these and other rules of the road will make your driving experience the hellish nightmare you always dreamed it would be. Happy motoring!
Boru
QFT.
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
