I want to believe

[warmdecember]

It's hard to be a theist, to be in an endless loop of fear and guilt.

And then there's church. So. Much. Church.

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Yes, I was very religious until a few months ago

Losing my religion was a long and unpleasant progress. There were weeks and months that i craved The certainty i felt before, and The comfort that provided. However we can't choose what we believe and don't believe. Try to keep an open mind to this new world of yours, it might pleasantly surprise you. With enough time, it did for me.

Mine too, was a long and scary progress. Even after I had stopped believing, I feared hell so much I could never seem to make that jump to calling myself a non-believer. In my mind it was a bridge that I needed to jump and I was afraid. But when I did, it felt like a weight (burden of religion) was lifted off of me and I no longer needed that "security" of being a believer. I could never go back. You can't un-ring a bell.