Cats Will Not Take This Lying Down

[Little lunch]

I've had eight cats in five years, not a single one has lived past two as of yet.  The birds and tree rats and snakes are doing worse, though.  Those poor bastards are lucky to make it through a single season.  

Cats can be a problem, I love em, but I was raised to shoot a stray*.

*

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defined as any unfamiliar cat, period.

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I have a simple rule, one I’m very serious about: you hurt my cat and I will do the same to you, twice as hard for twice as long.

What about if I'm really nice to your cat?
Would you then do the same for me, but twice as hard and twice as long?
And I love cats so I would be like, really, really nice to your cat. :-)