Passive-aggressive?

[Aroura]

I see passive aggression all over the place.

My wife does it when she pretends to be gracious about something she's mad about. "Oh. . . you want to go out with your friends instead of spending time with me?  That's fine. . . I mean. . . I thought I probably mattered more than that, but. . . I wouldn't want you to resent me from doing what you REALLY want to do!"

I'm sorry, I know this will sound really sexist, but I feel like the women in my life have used that kind of technique pretty consistently.  The men I've known are more likely just to be openly hostile.  That being said, it may be that I personally tend to ignore emotional subtlety in other men, so it's perfectly possible that both genders do it equally.

It is possible that women do it more, absolutely.  Getting anything close to accurate statistics for psychological behaviors is damn near impossible.

Both of my husbands have used it against me, particularly the emotional stonewalling, silent treatment things.  I think maybe men and women just tend to use different aspects of it, but likely women use it more broadly.

I know I am guilty of it, mostly because I am utterly averse to direct confrontation.  I think this might explain why a lot of women use it, we are trained never to be directly aggressive, so may have difficulty directly expressing frustration and anger.

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My usual routine Aroura. Bull in the china shop is a technique not only used  in Mafia.

You are the least passive aggressive person I've ever know, LP, lol.