I've certainly dealt with passive-aggressive people in my life. In many ways, we have to be polite and considerate of other people... this is often helpful in places like work or school. But we don't necessarily have to be passive-aggressive. I usually see passive-aggressiveness as something done with malice or ill intent. When you want someone to stop being passive-aggressive you really have to take them to task on those behaviors. If you're telling a family member about something they do that bothers you... let's say... they never take the trash out and you always do.
When you bring this up, a passive-aggressive person can respond with:
"How about the fact that you never change the toilet paper roll?"
The problem with this is, maybe they have a point, maybe you never do change the toilet paper roll. This is a sort of passive-aggressive way of avoiding your criticism of them and turning the attack back on you. This is when you have to take them to task and say:
"We can talk about that in a minute, but right now, let's talk about the trash situation."
Subtle insults have to be called out. Passive-aggressive people will often tell you you're being too sensitive or you cannot take a joke, you have to call this out for what it is too.
The other things you listed can be harder to combat and really have to be taken on a situation-by-situation basis.
I see some people arguing that passive-aggressiveness isn't necessarily a bad thing. You might have a point in some cases but I would almost always disagree. Being upfront and "aggressive" with someone is always the better way to go about it. Aggressiveness is essentially assertiveness, though aggressiveness can have undertones of wanting to dominate or attack - this isn't really the case though. Aggression isn't really the problem, it's more our concept concerning the term aggression, in my opinion.
If your boss is hesitant to give you a raise and is avoiding you or being subtly insulting toward you, should you be passive-aggressive, or assertive? In my experience, it's almost always better to go the assertive route and confront the situation head on.
When you bring this up, a passive-aggressive person can respond with:
"How about the fact that you never change the toilet paper roll?"
The problem with this is, maybe they have a point, maybe you never do change the toilet paper roll. This is a sort of passive-aggressive way of avoiding your criticism of them and turning the attack back on you. This is when you have to take them to task and say:
"We can talk about that in a minute, but right now, let's talk about the trash situation."
Subtle insults have to be called out. Passive-aggressive people will often tell you you're being too sensitive or you cannot take a joke, you have to call this out for what it is too.
The other things you listed can be harder to combat and really have to be taken on a situation-by-situation basis.
I see some people arguing that passive-aggressiveness isn't necessarily a bad thing. You might have a point in some cases but I would almost always disagree. Being upfront and "aggressive" with someone is always the better way to go about it. Aggressiveness is essentially assertiveness, though aggressiveness can have undertones of wanting to dominate or attack - this isn't really the case though. Aggression isn't really the problem, it's more our concept concerning the term aggression, in my opinion.
If your boss is hesitant to give you a raise and is avoiding you or being subtly insulting toward you, should you be passive-aggressive, or assertive? In my experience, it's almost always better to go the assertive route and confront the situation head on.
If you're frightened of dying, and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the Earth.
