The "Creepiest" thread

[Fireball]

Dayam, gurl! 

Hell, you can have both my grannies and my mother’s poodle!

  Uh, no... You can't choose your forebears. But you CAN choose your pets. Unless that poodle is just a yappy little toy, it might be tolerable. Standard poodles are very cool, IMO. We acquired (as a gift) a pair of Maltese females puppies (litter mates). I'll tell you right up front (jokingly) that my intent for them was to use them as bonnets for my paint polishing machine when they died. Yappy little dogs that they were, they still inveigled their way into my heart. We lost one (that little shit never found anything she wouldn't eat, and that includes finding folding paper money in her feces!) to cancer a little over two years ago. The other one was absolutely unafraid of heights, and the only way we could keep her in "durance vile" was by placing a 4 foot high sheet of plywood in the doorway. I had bought a 4 foot high plastic lattice as a measure against escape, and she climbed that like a goat! If you clapped your hands, she'd jump right into your waiting hands from the floor, no problem. Now she is on five medications, is missing most of her teeth (neighbor put out peanuts for the squirrels, they buried them in our yard, she dug them up and ate them, causing damage to her teeth from the rocks in the soil)  completely deaf and has cataracts. As long as the Vet reports that she's not in any pain, we'll keep her around, even though she's taken up pissing just about wherever she wants. She's the best little sweetie dog of evarr. Cats can go suck it. >.<

Daisy: