(September 18, 2018 at 8:42 am)Joods Wrote:(September 18, 2018 at 8:07 am)Aroura Wrote: Sorry Aroura, if you're going to use an article to make a point about wealthy getting SSI benefits, at least be accurate about it.
Sorry Joods, if you are going to make a point about how this type of comment isn't nasty, at least be accurate about it.
I'm just pointing out that perhaps you don't even realize how personal and passive aggressive this sort of comment appears.
I'm not going to engage with you further on this. Clearly, you are dealing with something IRL that causes you to lash out at a friend who merely pointed out a problem with an article that YOU linked to. I can't control how you research information nor will I be responsible for how you interpret it when someone provides information that is actually relevant to a claim being made.
Tone and inflection are often not present in written word unless accompanied by a series of emoticons, which, if you are a person secure in your worth, you wouldn't need to rely upon to know that I wasn't being nasty about anything.
Quote:Did it upset you when I phrased it back at you?
Any sentence that begins "sorry but" is already not sorry, it's sarcastic. And the phrase "at least be" implies all sorts of negatives about the person you aim it at. Saying you just pointed out an error is not true. You pointed out the error in a way that was hurtful.
Nope it didn't upset me when you "phrased it back" at me. Why? Because I know how to take constructive criticism and am adult enough to admit when I have made a mistake. I don't feel like I did anything wrong in what I wrote in my post. I am only responsible for what I say, not what others choose to understand.
Quote:I am perhaps overly sensitive right now, but I've started analyzing language a lot lately, because it really matters how you say something.
At any rate, you're smart. You don't need me or Mr. Brewer to Google things for you, so in the future I will refrain.
I have every right to ask for a source when a claim is being made about something I happen to have first hand knowledge of. You decided to inject yourself in a question directly asked to brewer because of a claim he made. Whether or not I need someone to google information for me is irrelevant. I merely wanted him to show me evidence of the claim he was making.
If you want to talk about hurt feelings or being passive-aggressive, I could totally blow it out of proportion and say that some might say that in your rush to make a post, you didn't bother checking to make sure there was relevancy between my question and what you posted. Within minutes of my asking, you slapped an article up in a post in order to show me up. And you know what - I could have interpreted that way. But I didn't because I knew that it wasn't your intent to be that ignorant. Just like it wasn't mine. And I certainly don't appreciate the accusation and the continued belittling about it. I am not going to pick and choose certain phrases simply because they don't jive with your feelings. And again - I am only responsible for what I say, not what you choose to understand. If you can't handle someone correcting you or pointing out that your post wasn't even relevant to my question, then that's something you need to work on. I refuse to walk around on eggshells to spare the feelings of people who can't handle being told when they're wrong and who obviously twist someone else's words so that they come off as passive aggressive. That's not how I said it or meant it.
Peace out. I think I'll step off this forum for awhile.
I wasn't trying to show you up...I was literally just trying to answer a question. I did so incorrectly, and that's my own fault. But nothing to insult people over.
I kind of feel like I actually wasn't the one overreacting in this case. For one thing, I twisted nothing. I explained pretty calmly, I thought.
If you aren't having hurt feelings, why are you leaving?
Really guys, I just feel like I'm losing my mind lately, lol. I really can't tell if it's just me. I mean, I KNOW I overreact sometimes. I own that 100%. I can flip my shit over dumb stuff. I didn't think I did that in this case.
“Eternity is a terrible thought. I mean, where's it going to end?”
― Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead
― Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead